The Sex Break

The Sex Break, patent pending, would be an hour or so long break in the afternoon where you take the least productive part of your day and practice your reproductive skills.

Just to prove that not all of my thoughts are about religion and the Church and that I have a sense of humor, I want to share a thought that I have had over the last few weeks.

In March, I got married. Things are great. It’s a lot of fun learning how to live together, manage a household together and continue to get to know one another, find the right house maintainance as plumbers from sites as and many other services. But there has been one unexpected lesson in my first few months of marriage that I suspect many of you can relate to.

Hormones are a bitch!

No, I am not talking about my wife’s hormones. I am talking about our hormones. I am talking about mine and hers and how they interact and how I have a hunch that this same problem occurs to other people as well.

For the better part of a month, everyday I become completely useless around 2pm and it lasts about an hour to two hours. 5-hour Energy drink even calls this “the 2 o’clock feeling.” It’s that time of day when you are plotting along, being reasonably productive, and suddenly everything falls apart and all focus and drive disappear like a noonday fog. If your like me, only one instinctive drive remains.

I want sex.

Now Christians, don’t be abashed by that. I have fulfilled the prerequisite obligation of marriage before I talk publicly about sex (and please understand that the last sentence is a joke). But I have a reasonably healthy sex drive and it’s triggered almost everyday at around the same time.

Now, my sex drive isn’t terribly interesting on its own. It’s pretty typical. But! It turns out, my wife’s sex drive is triggered at the same time.

During the middle of the day, there seems to be about an hour where the figurative “hormonal planets” align and the two of us could devour the other like a leopard eats a gazelle.

Ironically, this hormonal flood of sexual desire wears off before either of us are able to see the other. She’s at work. I’m at work. We get home and immediately we’re busy with making food and sating our stomachs. And then it’s back to being productive again. We both have projects and school and just a general desire to make something of our evening free time. Bed time soon comes and we go to bed, having once again been thwarted from our passions when our passions were highest.

My guess is that this actually happens to a lot of people. There’s an unproductive part of your day that draws your mind to wander towards thoughts of your significant other and BAM! it hits you like a ton of bricks. You, my friend, need what I have called The Sex Break.

The Sex Break, patent pending, would be an hour or so long break in the afternoon where you take the least productive part of your day and practice your reproductive skills.

I really think this could revolutionize the work day and stimulate the economy. Think about it. If you were given the opportunity to take your least productive hour of work and rather than waste it on Facebook or Pinterest could spend it with a significant other in a special way, don’t you think you’d have both a better marriage and a reinvigorated afternoon? Rather than waste the company dollar you could add value to your home life. You might even see an increase in work productivity from having such a consistent, and hopefully fantastic, “afternoon delight.”

I mean, other cultures have midday siestas or afternoon tea, why not have an hour or so where you can spend some quality time with your partner. Or for those of you who are single, why not spend an hour having fun when you’re least likely to get any work done anyways? Sounds to me like this could help improve business and boost morale the world over. Frankly, it would bring a lot more joy into the world.

So what do you think? Should we start a movement for people who’d rather “lay down” for an hour than drink yet another cup of coffee and check email for the hundredth time that day? Let me know if my hunch is right or if I’m flat out wrong.