The Consciousness Lottery
This will be a departure from my typical topic of writing, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for well over a decade and would like to finally put into some words. With no better place to publish this, here will have to do. Do not be surprised if I publish more content in a similar vein in the future.
None of us are born of our will. That is, not one of us chose to be born. Rather, each of us is born against our will. We each had parents that conceived us, a mother that birthed us, and here we are, each participating in a world we had no say in entering.
Not only this, but we had no choice in who we came into this world as. One day, “you” suddenly were “you”. “You” were a consciousness embodied in a particular physical form. This is the “consciousness lottery”.
There’s no reason “you” could not have been “you” differently. No reason “you” could not have gained consciousness at a different time in history, a different geographic location, a different sex, a different ethnicity, of a different social and economic class, etc. No reason at all.
Yet, one day, a particular corporeal form gained “you”-ness and there “you” were.
Think about this for a moment.
Why are you you?
There’s no sufficient answer, but it doesn’t make the question less worthwhile to ask. In fact, because there is no answer, it makes the question all the more important to ask.
If each of us is “us” against our will, through the sheer luck of an invisible universal lottery, awakening conscious in a body one day, this should vastly increase our empathy towards one another.
Just as there is no good reason that you are you, there is no good reason they are them.
The consciousness lottery is why I find patriotism and nationalism confusing. No one chooses where they are born, so what are you actually proud of? Unless you immigrated and chose to take citizenship, what did you actually do?
The consciousness lottery is why I find racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia confusing. None of us chose our skin color. None of us chose our sexual orientation. Almost none of us chose our sex, and those who do, can you imagine how difficult a life must be to have gained consciousness in a body that never feels like your own? How are we not empathetic to that plight?
Or what if we examine our own lives through the lens of the consciousness lottery. In my case, in some ways I won the lottery. I was born a white, cisgender, heterosexual male in a country where other white, cisgender, heterosexual males hold an excess of power. I have above average intelligence. I am athletic and coordinated. For a portion of my life, reasonably handsome, etc. None of these “wins” can really be ascribed to anything I consciously chose, but are rather emergent properties of the particular genetics that I was lucky enough to gain consciousness in.
In other ways, I may have lost the lottery. I have autism and ADHD and perpetually struggle in personal relationships and work because of this neurodivergence. I was not born to a well-to-do family which has financially impacted my entire life. My parents suffered from alcholism, various mental health disorders, were abusive or completely dysfunctional. I haven’t had familial support in over 25 years. We could even count going bald at a young age, in a world that values hair, as a literal loss. I didn’t consciously choose any of that either.
What about you? Have you asked yourself in what ways have you won and loss the consciousness lottery?
My hope is you have, and if you haven’t, that you will. But when you do so, I want you to remember, the point of the exercise isn’t to feel guilt, shame or pride. It is to recognize the complete arbitrariness of some of your wins and losses. You are you by nothing more than chance.
This doesn’t mean you haven’t worked hard, or haven’t made the most of the “hand you were dealt”. This takes nothing away from conscious choices you have made. But it does ask you to consider what was out of your power to control entirely and to think of others in the same way.
So please, add this concept to your vernacular. See how it changes how you view yourself and others.
